How many times have you heard horror stories about an incident where someone was using an online dating service and went on their first date to find the person they had been chatting with all along was not who they thought it was? The question is why do people feel the need to lie when they create their profiles? Some of the reasons are things such as people not feeling attractive, not being comfortable with their financial status, or not wanted to be rejected because they don’t feel they are enough.

People get the idea that it is okay to lie from the media. Have you noticed how the shows go up on the charts that involve a series of conniving acts amongst the characters? People think life is made easier by lying. Generally liars are trying to avoid conflict, dodge the consequences of their actions, avoid being rejected, trying to make sure they are in complete control of the situation, and want to be viewed as really good at everything they do.

It is even easier for them to get away with this characteristic when the main avenue of communication is the internet. It is extremely difficult for any one to detect lying from an internet correspondence. Unless you are on a video chat, there is no way for one to see a person’s eyes or body language.

For your own safety and security it is best if you learn way to detect if someone is lying. One of the number one indications of an honest person is their congruency.  This basically means that all the information they give out -- their words, body language, they way they live and dress, everything -- fits together and contains no contradictions. People who lie will be incongruent in some way.

The very next and most important indication is your intuition. How many times have you felt something wasn’t right and ignored your inner voice just to find out that you were right? Don’t even waste your time and energy if you don’t feel completely comfortable and at peace from the very first correspondence.

Pay attention to how they communicate. If you have reached to the point of talking on the phone be aware of their pitch, how fast they are speaking, and if they defensive. If you are still in the stages of using only emails, you will have to just pay attention to whether or not they are consistent.

Don’t let this email freak you out. You just need to make sure that you are totally aware of the fact that this happens a lot. If you think you are reading to far into things and you know yourself to be overly analytical, consider asking a friend what they think about a scenario between you and your prospective.

Online dating is a wonderful tool for meeting new people. Just keep in mind that people are not always what they say they are. Be prepared for the good and the bad.