There are some people that are able to have an orgasm at the drop of a dime and some that could not have one to save their life. Yes, at the point of an orgasm there is a moment when you are in a state of suspended animation, neither here nor there, just being and letting go.
One of the things that a lot of women say they have a problem with is the fear of losing complete control. If that sounds like you, you may squirm at the thought of being seen by your partner in the throes of your orgasm. I have actually mastered not showing that I am having an orgasm at all. I literally am able to bottle it up. I bet if I were to lose all control and just let it happen it would be so much better. If you are close enough to your sexual partner, you should tell them how you feel.
Often, that expected moment of orgasmic release turns into an inability to pop. Carol Ellison, Ph.D., quoted the following statistics: the sexuality of 2,471 American women, 38 percent have never had an orgasm and one out of four women had difficulty reaching orgasm during partnered sex during the prior year. You should feel comfort in knowing that you are not the only one that cannot reach an orgasm. It is happening to women all over the world. One trick you can use to keep aroused in the pre-orgasmic phase and move closer toward climax is to increase sensation and stimulation.
We all know that the clitoral is a major trigger for every woman. Whether it is stimulated directly or indirectly, it could still lead to your climax. Most women can only have an orgasm with this type of stimulation. Ask your lover to use his (or her) mouth or finger to rub on your clitoral area during penetration. Anytime I use a vibrator, I climax. It is about finding what works for you. Take some time out for yourself and learn your body.
One of the best tricks for reaching orgasm is to avoid trying to have one. Really! Try this: Put your keys in front of you on the couch. Now, try to pick them up. I said TRY. Are you still trying? So you see if you try you will not get the result that you are looking for. Now, you can stop trying and just bend over and pick up your keys.
Another way is to let your orgasm happen on its own. If you try to hard to have an orgasm you will push it away. Why not try to focus your thoughts on something that makes you smile or something positive. You can think about a sensual poem that you read and enjoyed, music that turned you on or even a steamy scene in a movie. Try it and see if your orgasms increase.
Women tend to want to have an orgasm, but go into sex not expecting it because they are so used to it not happening. It could be anything from a man prematurely ejaculating to an emotional disconnection to her just not knowing how to make it happen. This is not something to be ashamed of. Continue to educate yourself on what could help you reach your climax.
